


Hearing

by EverybodyLovesEggsy



Series: Senses [2]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Also kind of, Eggsy feels, Muteness, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Shyness, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-01 21:20:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16773136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EverybodyLovesEggsy/pseuds/EverybodyLovesEggsy
Summary: What if Eggsy's childhood made it difficult for Eggsy to hear loud voices and speak up?Disclaimer: I am not trying to steal anybody's ideas. This fic is purely a celebration of zebrljb's amazing story of shy Eggsy in an AU setting.I previously wrote Touch and I had loved coming up with the story. So, I had been thinking about starting a series focusing on PTSD through the other senses. Then I read zebrljb's story, Talk to Me, and absolutely loved it. Then I thought, what if something similar had been placed in the setting of the first movie? So, I was inspired. If it recieves good feed back, I might continue the story in context of TGC.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Talk to Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16716233) by [zebraljb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb). 



When Eggsy was little, he could talk for days without interruption. He would loudly ramble on about anything and everything if no one stopped him, and his dad, when he was alive, would sit there and listen to all of it. He would ask Eggsy questions that would lead to even more excited chattering, until Eggsy eventually thought of something that he wanted his dad to tell him (who could talk just as long, when he chose to). It was like a game between the two. In fact, it even got Eggsy his nickname when he told his dad about why eggs were his favorite food for, easily, an entire hour. After Lee passed, Eggsy quieted down and reserved his chattering for himself and his dad, knowing no one else would appreciate those rambles more than his dad did. He only excitedly and loudly talked when something peaked his interest, like gymnastics, or he felt he needed to be heard – like when defending his friends from some wankers who teased them for being plebs. So, although the amount of talking Eggsy did was highly dialed down without his dad around, he still was more of a chatter box than most. Then Dean walked into his life.

At first, Eggsy thought the man was okay, despite the fact that he had obviously not liked how much Eggsy talked. But his mum was happy so he decided that was okay. When Dean first hit him, Eggsy was loud and outraged, but when the wanker began threatening his mum, Eggsy learned to shut up real quick. Eggsy eventually learned that, overall, the less he talked, the less likely he or his mum were going to be abused; he began to only talk when absolutely necessary. As the years under the abuse continued, Eggsy continued to stand up for his mum and Daisy (once she was born), but hardly ever with words; before he knew it, Eggsy realized that he may as well be mute with the way he became uncomfortable with speaking – both physically and mentally.

Eggsy snapped back into the present when he heard Merlin moving to join him and Roxy in the main part of the plane. The man roughly sat down on the couch next to Eggsy, which was across from a sleeping Roxy, and pinched the bridge of his nose. Eggsy waited, expecting Merlin to ask about his aversion to speech, now that he knew Eggsy was not completely mute.

When Harry got Eggsy released from Holborn Station and they had gone to The Black Prince, Harry and Merlin had assumed Eggsy was completely mute when he didn’t speak. During training, Merlin hadn’t judged Eggsy for being mute, and only paid attention to the fact that Eggsy continued to excel during the Lancelot trials by adapting the situation to his lack of speech. But then Harry died, Eggsy killed Chester King and Eggsy then had to play as Chester in order to get into Valentine’s bunker. Merlin had spoken for Eggsy with a small speaker, the same way Harry had when Dean threatened him with a knife after he left the Black Prince. Eggsy mimed the simple ‘Chester King’ and ‘Thank you’ while Eggsy shook his head when asked for his drink order, making it appear as though he was the one talking. However, when Eggsy had been surrounded and Merlin was about to get blown to pieces, in a rough voice, Eggsy had said, “Merlin. Implants, explode.” There had been a split-second pause, which Eggsy assumed was from the shock of hearing him speak, before Merlin hacked into the implants.

Once the world was saved and they had picked up Roxy, they began the flight back to the estate. Roxy had immediately fallen asleep on the couch across from Eggsy, adrenaline-high gone; Eggsy had been too anxious to do the same, no matter how tired he felt. He had been expecting Merlin to demand answers the minute he stepped on the plane, but had only received silence since then. That silence was doing nothing for his anxiety he felt about the impending shouting from Merlin.

“Eggsy, are you alright?”

Eggsy flinched and snapped back into the present once more, realizing he had been stuck in his own head again and Merlin was now looking at him in concern. Eggsy nodded and looked at Merlin out of the corner of his eyes. The man looked exhausted, but more wide-awake than Eggsy felt. He quickly glanced at the man and waited for the reprimanding he assumed Merlin was planning on giving him.

“Look at me, Eggsy.”

Eggsy flinched at the sound of the man’s voice and then realized that Merlin wasn’t yelling. He slowly looked up at the older man and only saw concern. Eggsy slightly shifted in his seat, uncomfortable with the attention on him. That seemed to get Merlin’s attention as the man’s eyebrow twitched slightly.

_I’m sorry._

Eggsy mouthed the words so quickly that he wasn’t sure Merlin understood him, until the tech genius frowned and asked, “What are you sorry for?”

Signing slowly, having only just started to learn sign language during training, Eggsy said, _For lying. I don’t talk, but I’m not mute_.

“I kind of figured that last part out, lad.”

Eggsy flinched again and dropped his gaze, despite hearing what he thought was amusement in Merlin’s voice. But he had to be mistaken – Merlin must be angry with him and anger meant shouting. He jumped and quickly looked back up when he felt the older man place a hand on his shoulder.

“There is no reason to be sorry, lad. Whether or not you talk is your business”, the man hesitated before asking, “But may I ask why?”

Eggsy swallowed audibly, relieved that it didn’t look like Merlin was angry. A big part of Eggsy wanted to shake his head no – a defense mechanism from living with Dean – but the more he watched Merlin, who only showed concern for him and not anger, the more an even bigger part of him wanted to explain. He wasn’t sure what it was about them, but ever since he met Harry and Merlin, the two men seemed to pull the small part of Eggsy that still wanted to be a chatterbox to the surface. Eggsy cut that line of thinking off before he could consider it further; especially since he didn’t want to think about how one of those men was no longer around.

 _Silence is protection_ , Eggsy signed quickly. However, he paused, unsure how to continue.

“Protection from Dean?”

Eggsy closed his eyes and nodded. He whispered, “For Mum and Daisy… and me.”

After Eggsy swallowed hard, trying to push the sharp pain in his throat away. A gentle hand took his and squeezed lightly. Eggsy let out a small breath, taking the small comfort offered from the hand and opened his eyes. He swallowed once more and let go of the hand so he could sign.

_I’ve stayed silent too long. Hurts to talk for more than a few words at a time._

Merlin nods in understanding, hand twitching on his lap. If Eggsy didn’t know better, he would think Merlin wanted to take a hand in his again.

“Eggsy, lad, what about physical therapy? You might gain back more voice functionality.”

Eggsy smiled sadly and tapped the side of his head.

_It’s not just physical hurt, bruv._

Merlin’s hand twitched again, so Eggsy asked, _Why aren’t you angry?_

“Oh, lad. I have no reason to be angry. If you are uncomfortable talking then you don’t have to talk. Just promise you will tell me if there is anything else that makes you uncomfortable.”

Eggsy hesitated, “No yelling.”

This time Merlin took his hand, “Eggsy, I will do my best to avoid making you uncomfortable, but I can’t promise that there won’t be yelling on missions.”

Eggsy shook his head quickly. _No, I mean no yelling from people I trust. That won’t be a problem when on missions._

Merlin’s eyes softened as he nodded. Eggsy leaned his head back and closed his eyes. God, he was so tired. All of a sudden, he felt a shift in the couch and when he opened his eyes, Merlin had stood up. Before he was too far away, Eggsy grabbed a hold of the man’s wrist.

“Stay.”

Eggsy held onto the wrist while Merlin studied his face for a moment. He wasn’t sure what the man was looking for, but he must have found it because he sat back down. Eggsy was just about to let go of Merlin’s wrist when he found his fingers intertwined with Merlin’s. Eggsy looked down at their joined hands in surprise and then looked back up. Merlin had his head leaned back and eyes closed. Eggsy smiled and mirrored the position.

><><><><><><><><><><><><

“Merlin.”

Merlin frowned. He didn’t remember falling asleep and there was something warm and heavy leaning against him, trapping his hand. Sleepily, he lifted his head and opened his eyes to see Roxy standing in front of him. She looked highly amused at what she saw, so Merlin looked down to see what was so funny. Merlin was surprised to find Eggsy asleep, head on his shoulder and his hand tightly holding his. He looked back up to see Roxy smirk for a second before schooling her features.

“Merlin, we just landed back at HQ.”

Merlin blinked for a second before everything came rushing back. Harry was dead. They saved the world. Eggsy wasn’t mute. Merlin cleared his throat softly and had to stop himself from shifting in his seat so he didn’t wake Eggsy up.

“Yes, thank you, Roxy. We will be out in a moment.”

Roxy smirked again and then turned and exited the plane. Once she was gone, Merlin looked down again. Eggsy looked more relaxed than Merlin had ever seen him. When Eggsy had told him to stay, Merlin had been surprised but refused to look further into why Eggsy wanted him to stay. The lad probably just didn’t want to be alone after the long day they’d had.

Snapping out of his thoughts, Merlin gently extracted his hand from Eggsy’s and moved so he could pick the other man up. Once he was in his arms, one of Eggsy’s hands moved to grip his shirt, while Eggsy tilted his face further into Merlin’s chest, but the man didn’t wake. Careful not to jostle Eggsy, Merlin walked out of the plane and through the halls until he made it to one of the rooms in the mansion. Once there, he set the younger man down on the bed, but when he moved to leave, a frown appeared on Eggsy’s face and the grip on Merlin’s shirt tightened. Merlin hesitated where he was briefly before deciding it wasn’t worth waking Eggsy up and joined him in the bed. Once he had laid down, the younger man moved closer, hands still gripping Merlin’s shirt like he was going to leave, and placed his head against Merlin’s chest again. The older man smiled and placed his arm around Eggsy’s waist and closed his eyes.

The next time consciousness filtered back in, having fallen asleep pretty quickly, Merlin heard Eggsy in the adjoining bathroom. The older man stayed where he was, eyes still closed, not quite ready to get up and face the mess they were sure to need to fix now that Chester was revealed as a traitor. He began to doze off again when he could feel Eggsy watching him.

With his eyes still closed, Merlin told him, “You can stay, lad.”

As expected, there was some hesitation before Merlin felt the bed dip. He sighed softly as he felt the warmth from Eggsy’s body next to him, but not touching. The older man opened his eyes to look at Eggsy. He saw the younger man’s eyes drop down from his face and his hands twitch in front of him. Merlin brought his hand to Eggsy’s chin, gently lifting the man’s chin so that Eggsy would look at him. Once he had the younger man’s attention, he moved his hand to brush his fingertips across Eggsy’s cheek, while he moved his other hand to take one of Eggsy’s hands in his.

“You can touch, Eggsy. I won’t get angry and I already promised you I wouldn’t yell.”

Eggsy blushed and nodded. Merlin watched as Eggsy closed his eyes and sighed in contentment. He closed his eyes when he thought the younger man had fallen back asleep and was surprised when he heard a quiet, “Thank you.”

Merlin opened his eyes and looked at Eggsy, who still had his eyes closed.

“For what?”, he replied softly.

Eggsy opened his eyes again and pointed to Merlin then himself and signed with his free hand, _Trust_.

Merlin smiled, “Always, lad. I will always be someone you can trust.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I hadn't originally planned for this to be multiple chapters but a few ideas popped into my head so I decided to write them. It's not really TGC compliant but if this work gets lots of hits and kudos I will make a new (much better) version of this second chapter that is TGC compliant. Any ways, enjoy the bonus chapter! Don't forget to leave feedback with comments!

It had been three months since V-day – and two months since he and Merlin officially started dating, although everyone had thought they already were with the amount of time they spent together – when Eggsy got off the plane and headed to Merlin’s lab. He had just finished his third mission since being made Galahad and couldn’t wait to see his boyfriend before heading home. Since Merlin first found out about why Eggsy didn’t speak, the man had been patient with him while Eggsy became more comfortable. As Eggsy spent more and more time outside of Dean’s influence, he slowly began to be able to talk more (he was up to two sentences without hurting, at least around people he trusted, like Merlin and Roxy – who took the new information about Eggsy’s speech like a champ), and flinched at loud voices less. However, when he was anxious, stressed or tired, he found himself still unable to speak. Which was exactly how he felt when he walked into Merlin’s lab to see Harry Hart sitting next to Merlin.

Eggsy froze in the doorway and stared. The man who was supposed to be _dead_ had an eyepatch on his eye with a scar spiderwebbing around the eyepatch, but otherwise looked perfectly fine. Perfectly _alive_. When Harry finally saw him, he stood up slowly and smiled, “Eggsy.”

A million words came to mind but Eggsy couldn’t get one of them past his lips.

“Breathe, lad.”

Eggsy glanced at Merlin, who had turned from his computer to watch the interaction; to watch Eggsy with a hint of concern in his eyes. Eggsy took a deep breath in, and looked at Harry again.

Still unable to get the words out, he signed, _How?_

Surprising Eggsy, Harry answered immediately without needing a translation, “Statesman, the American version of Kingsman, found me. I’ve been in a coma until a month ago, but I didn’t regain my memories and most functionality until about two days ago.”

Eggsy continued to stare at Harry, still shocked. He saw the man become nervous at his lack of response, which would have been amusing if he wasn’t still frozen in the doorway, and began to fix the cuffs of his suit.

“Eggsy, I want to apologize for the way I left things. I didn’t mean any of the things I said. I was angry about what happened and wrongfully took it out on you. For that, my boy, I am sor–”

Eggsy didn’t let him finish as he rushed forward and hugged then man tightly, finally able to move. He heard a surprised noise come from Harry, before he hugged Eggsy back just as tightly. After a moment, Eggsy opened his eyes, not really sure when he closed them, and pulled away.

“Don’t do that again.”

Harry’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline and Merlin laughed at the look on Harry’s face, reminding Eggsy he was there. Merlin looked over at him with a fond smile.

“You have quite the way of informing people that you are not mute, lad. Like catching people off-guard, don’t you?”

Eggsy grinned and winked at his boyfriend. He looked at Harry, who had his eye narrowed and looking between the two of them.

“You two are dating.”

Merlin raised an eyebrow and Eggsy’s grin widened.

“Dear lord, I was gone three months and I come back to find out that Eggsy can talk and my best friend and my protégé are dating. Is there anything else I should know?”

Merlin replied, “Not that I can think of, Arthur.”

“What?!”

><><><><><><><><><><><><

It was two weeks later, after Harry was officially made Arthur and Eggsy had explained his speech impediment, that Eggsy found himself having a bad day. Somedays, like that day, he just couldn’t get words out and every time he heard a loud noise or someone made an unexpected movement, he flinched. Eggsy knew it was PTSD and hated it; he was frustrated that the progress he had made to getting his voice back felt like nothing due to the anxiety of those days. Usually, he would go into Merlin’s office – who would notice almost immediately what was going on and move so he was working on his couch – and Eggsy would lay his head on he man’s legs while Merlin would play with his hair. It had taken a long time – and a ridiculously long cuddle session after Eggsy almost had a panic attack from hearing a shouting match between two other Kingsman agents – for the two to figure out that simple, gentle touches calmed Eggsy down until the anxiety was gone. Luckily, every time Eggsy had a bad day in the past, Merlin hadn’t been handling a mission. However, when Eggsy made his way to Merlin this time, he saw that the older man was handling a mission as soon as he opened the door. Eggsy flinched at the noise from the mission’s feed and quickly left the office before Merlin even knew he was there. Before Eggsy realized what he was doing, he made his way to Harry’s office and knocked on the door. His mind caught up with his actions when he flinched at the sound of Harry’s voice loudly calling him in. Eggsy hesitated before slowly opening the door; this was the first time Harry would see what a bad day meant for Eggsy.

“Eggsy. What can I do for you?”

Eggsy could barely hear him over the blood rushing in his ears. He moved to sign but stopped when he realized his hands were shaking. Harry must have seen that Eggsy was shaking because all of a sudden, the man was standing in front of him. Eggsy flinched when he realized Harry’s new-found proximity.

“Are you alright, my boy?”

Eggsy shook his head, glaring at his hands in frustration. Harry’s hands slowly appeared in his field of vision and took his, slowing the shaking. Eggsy looked up at the man and only saw understanding.

“Bad day?”, Harry softly asked.

Eggsy must have looked confused or surprised at the question because Harry then told him, “Merlin told me. He was worried that this might happen while he was handling a mission.”

Eggsy only smiled slightly in response. He should have known Merlin would think ahead.

“Am I right in guessing you went there and found him handling Percival’s mission?”

Eggsy nodded.

“Does Merlin know you are here?”

Eggsy shook his head.

“I am glad you trust me enough to find your way here then, my boy. Shall we relax on the couch?”

Eggsy nodded and followed the man to the couch in the office. The two sat down, but Eggsy jumped when Harry sat next to him, having expected him to sit farther away. He felt Harry begin to move farther away, probably thinking Eggsy wanted space, and quickly grabbed the man’s hand to stop him. When Harry stopped and looked at him, question in his eyes, Eggsy shook his head and tugged at the man’s hand. Eggsy sighed in relief when Harry understood what he was trying to say and moved to sit closer to him before speaking.

“Now, I know you usually lay your head in Merlin’s lap, but I imagine doing the same with me might be uncomfortable so-”

Eggsy shook his head quickly. How could Harry think he would be uncomfortable with him? However, Eggsy’s response only seemed to make the man confused. So Eggsy took a deep breath to steady his hands and slowly signed.

_Not uncomfortable with you._

Harry’s eyes softened and Eggsy quickly added, _If that’s okay with you_.

“Of course,” Harry replied with a smile.

Harry then moved over to the end of the couch, and Eggsy let him this time, and looked at Eggsy expectantly. The younger man easily laid down on his side, facing away from Harry, and placed his head in the older man’s lap. Eggsy closed his eyes, already feeling himself slowly relax due to Harry’s comforting presence. Not too long after he settled into the position, Eggsy felt Harry gently place a hand on his head and begin to play with hair. With that simple comforting gesture, Eggsy felt himself begin to relax even further.

><><><><><><><><><><><><

As soon as Eggsy laid down with his head in Harry’s lap, Harry could feel the tension slowly leave his protégé. It wasn’t nearly fast enough for Harry’s liking, so he made sure Eggsy was comfortable where he was before starting to play with the boy’s hair. As soon as he did so, Harry could feel more of the tension in the younger man’s body begin to dissipate slowly, but definitely faster than before. Harry heard Eggsy’s breathing begin to slow down and, after a minute, even out. Harry was sure the man had fallen asleep, which was fine with Harry; it gave him an excuse not to be working on the ridiculous amount of paperwork that came with his new title.

Harry looked down at the man in his lap. He had avoided staring so as not to make the boy uncomfortable, but now that he was asleep, Harry watched as Eggsy’s facial expression slowly smoothed out as he continued to sleep. However, Harry knew his protégé wouldn’t sleep any deeper than a doze, his anxiety preventing more than a light sleep until he was completely relaxed. As comfortable as the younger man was with him, Harry doubted anybody but Merlin would be able to get him to completely relax. At that thought, Harry smiled slightly. He never would have thought that the two would be interested in one another, but when he figured out that they were dating, it occurred to Harry how perfect the two were for each other; Merlin had always been a caretaker and Eggsy definitely deserved someone who loved caring for him, especially after everything he has been through, while Eggsy was just stubborn enough to make sure Merlin took care of himself as well as he took care of others, but was also understood that, sometimes, work had to come first. After watching the two interacting with each other, both in and out of work, Harry knew he was right and the two were perfect for one another.

Harry smiled again and looked away from the man in his lap as he sent a message to Merlin, letting him know what was going on. Once he did so, Harry took off his glasses – the ones with the blacked-out lens – and set them aside. He then leaned his head back and closed his eye.

Not much later, Harry heard his office door open quietly click shut, so he blearily opened his eye and looked up to, unsurprisingly, see that Merlin had entered his office. He looked amused, probably having seen him dozing right along with Eggsy. Harry rolled his eyes at Merlin’s amusement, making the man silently chuckle. Merlin then moved closer and crouched down so that he was eye level with Eggsy. The handler reached a hand out to his boyfriend’s face but stopped just before touching.

He looked up at Harry and mouthed, _Thank you_.

Harry nodded in response and removed the hand that was still in Eggsy’s hair, although it had been still since he had begun to doze off. He watched as Merlin refocused on Eggsy and gently brushed his fingers across Eggsy’s cheek for a moment. This pulled a near inaudible sigh from the man, which Harry and Merlin both smiled at – both in fondness as well as relief that Eggsy was comfortable enough to make noise, even if it was the smallest of noises.

Although obviously wishing he didn’t have to wake the man up, Merlin whispered, “Eggsy.”

Eggsy slowly blinked his eyes open, obviously a little disoriented at seeing Merlin crouching in front of him, instead of having the man wake him up, if he had fallen asleep, from Harry’s position. Eggsy blinked again to orient himself and slowly lifted himself out of Harry’s lap and into sitting position.

Merlin stood up and asked, “Better, mo ghràdh?”

Eggsy nodded and signed, _Home?_

When Merlin hesitated, Eggsy gave him a look. Harry inwardly smirked when his friend looked chastised and nodded. Eggsy looked over at Harry and mouthed, _Thanks, Harry_.

“Of course, my boy. I am available whenever you should need me”, Harry smiled.

Eggsy smiled back and stood up. The smile stayed on Harry’s face as he watched Eggsy lean over and give Merlin a peck on the lips, causing a small smile to appear on the man’s face for a moment. Eggsy grinned and twined his fingers with Merlin, and turned back to look at Harry the same time Merlin did.

The younger man blushed at seeing the smile on Harry’s face while Merlin ignored it and said, “We will see you tomorrow, Arthur.”

“Yes, I’ll see both of you then.”

Eggsy waved and Harry watched the two leave; they were definitely made for each other.


End file.
